Night at the Bar

This week an alum from my lab happened to be in town for a short time, and in order to see the most friends he could with a minimum of scheduling fuss, he just decided to camp himself at a bar in Harvard Square, and anyone who wanted to say hi was welcome to stop by sometime during the evening. An excellent solution, I thought, and very efficient - just like you'd expect an engineer's planning to be!

So I made my way to Harvard after work, and spent some time catching up with him and the other mutual friends who were there.

And at some point, of course, I had to use the bathroom. While I was waiting in line (only one restroom), I heard the girl behind me warn her friend "Yeah it's a bummer, the flush doesn't work on the toilet..."

Really? That seems like more than a bummer, in fact that seems like a pretty major issue in the ONE BATHROOM.

When the girl in front of me came out of the restroom, she said to the line in general, "I'm just letting you know, the flush doesn't work." And you could see in her face, she was really trying to say, "It's not my fault the toilet hasn't been flushed... I tried, really I did... don't blame me!"

Oh great, well, I guess I'm next up...

Sure enough, the toilet was in a pretty sorry state. Fortunately everybody had been nice enough to only pee... too much information? Well, sorry...

But the top of the toilet tank happened to be off - and when I took a peek, the problem was obvious. The little chain that attaches the flushing bar to the valve at the bottom of the tank, had just came unhooked.

Now, I'm an engineer, and this is a problem where I know the solution. You can guess what I did, right?

Yep, I took a deep breath, reached in there, and re-attached the chain and fixed the toilet.

Then washed my hands REALLY WELL.

Not sure whether to be proud of myself or not. Don't think there's very many other women who fix the toilet while they are out at the bar, so at least the rest of the ladies waiting in line should be grateful. Can't be normal, can I...

Email of the Day

I got an email from a friend of mine, informing me of a conversation she had with a mutual friend, concerning me. It tickled me pink, so I'm sharing it here. The email was as follows:

The conversation went like this

START CONVO
Danielle: You know who is awesome? Miss Outlier...she is awesome
Melissa: You know what is more awesome than Miss Outlier? Two Miss Outliers
Danielle: Three is even better!
Melissa: Well, in theory yes....but then our ceiling would be covered in Wisk Laundry detergent.
Danielle: Good point...two Miss Outliers it is
END CONVO

Thus Miss Outlier...promptly clone yourself...Good Day.

So clearly, I need to change my research promptly to the field of cloning! :) But why the Wisk reference?

These two friends of mine are roommates, and they threw a Halloween party last year that I attended. As part of the festivities, all guests were provided with small cups of Wisk laundry soap. Turns out, Wisk soap glows in blacklight. So everyone was encouraged to draw on the walls, the room was lit with blacklight, and this is what engineers do for fun.

I was having trouble finding somewhere to draw on the wall, so I decided to get a chair and draw my name on the ceiling. I was quite proud of my handiwork.

Turns out nobody else followed my lead (story of my life, ahem). Everybody else confined themsleves to the walls, so my name was the only one up there, prominently displayed in the middle of the ceiling.

My two friends of course cleaned up later and washed the walls (there's soap there already, so why not, and things probably ended up cleaner than before the party!). But they forgot about my outlier piece of artwork while they were cleaning, then even later when they realized it they never got around to wiping it off, and so my name has stayed proudly up there all year. It's still there. Of course soap is clear, but if you look carefully you can see it.

I suspect if I ever want anybody to follow my lead, I'd HAVE to clone myself. :) But perhaps my friends are right - one Outlier, and one cup of Wisk, is enough!

A Girl and Her Tools

I posted not long ago about the layout of my room, but I intentionally didn't show you a pile of things that has been defying organization. My collection of tools:

Figure: You can't see it, but at the base of that pile is my favorite Bosch cordless drill. If there is a fire, I would grab my laptop first and then that drill case.

But then this January, a happy combination of two things happened. My grandparents sent me a Christmas check (thank you, Grandma and Grandad!), and I got a flyer from Lowe's advertising a sale on tool storage.

Well, you may guess what happened.

I marched myself to Lowe's (literally marched - I have no car...) and payed cash (pulled a $100 bill from my wallet in honor of my Grandad!) for a gorgeous toolbox.

Figure: Craftsman, baby. Ball bearing slides. Premium rollaway casters. Gray and black. Very sexy.

I don't have quite enough money right now for both the top and bottom pieces of a classic toolchest setup, so I got just the bottom half. I had a choice between a four and five drawer bottom chest, and I couldn't tell from the online pictures what might work better for me. Five drawers, more organization - but four drawers, bigger spaces. So I actually brought the empty case for my drill to the store, so I could check to make sure the case fit in a drawer. Wouldn't you know, the five drawer option was too small. Gold star for thinking ahead...

The precise model I wanted wasn't in stock, so I had to wait a whole four weeks for it to be shipped to the store. When it arrived, I rented a ZipCar SUV to go pick it up. Ripped open the packaging, assembled everything, and whala:

Figure: Happy girl

What a difference! Now when I need things, it's all right at hand. In fact a girl came to my door needing WD-40, and I was able to just whip that right out. And where did I put this toolchest in my room?

Figure: Some girls have bedside tables with a romance novel. I prefer this arrangement.

It seems rather fitting that the best place for it is the foot of my bed. I know some women justify their purchase of expensive shoes by calling them "investment pieces." Well, this is my investment piece. I expect this to last until I get a house and a proper garage. And at some point along the way, I'm going to "invest" into that matching top chest. :)

Elevator Pitch

My minor is entrepreneurship, so this semester I am taking a business class which is basically Starting a Company 101. I am fantastically excited about this class; the teacher is engaging and knowledgeable and the material is fascinating to me. During the course of the class, the students will be divided into teams which will each develop a business worth 50 million in three years.

Our first assignment was to submit an idea for a business. Makes sense, I thought. I have many, many ideas for companies, but unfortunately I am only allowed to submit three ideas. I did my best to choose the three most promising, and with some trepidation I sent my pitches off into the cloud.

Everyone's ideas were available during last week to the whole class, and we all got to rate the ideas and comment. As I was looking through the ideas to rate them, it was painfully obvious that this was a class of business people. So many of the ideas were "Wouldn't it be great IF....." type of ideas with no way to make it into reality. Like, we should revolutionize air travel. Yeah, we totally should, because that's not capital intensive at all. Or, wouldn't it be great if we could have an online way to do all our healthcare records, so it's easily accessible to doctors. Um, yeah, and possibly accessible to more nefarious eyes as well. Fanciful ideas for mobile apps abounded, but I subscribe to TechCrunch so I recognized lots of those mobile app ideas that are already under development. Even if they weren't, who in this class could possibly make a website, let alone write a piece of software? My personal favorite: "The Rod of Moses" which would be able to turn urine into drinkable water. Yeah, buddy, let's see the engineering basis for THAT trick.

So I was pretty pleased with my three ideas, which I think have a firm basis in reality and which I have the necessary expertise to actually pull off. But my ideas have only been rated 3.2, 2.9, and 2.2 out of 5 by the class. Not great, I thought, but on the other hand after seeing all the ideas I'm not sure that I trust these people's rating skills anyway. :)

_________________________________

Today in class, I arrived and sat down with a few minutes to spare. The professor walked over to our side of the room, and asked "Does anybody over here have an idea?" Not wanting to be the overeager volunteer, I stayed quiet. Absolutely nobody raised their hand or made a sound.

Wait, did I miss something? Was not our last assignment to SUBMIT and IDEA? How do none of you have an idea? Is this a TRICK QUESTION, for crying out loud?

So I raised my hand and said, "Yes sir, I have an idea." "Fantastic!" said he, "Please come on down to the front."

Come down to the front? What now?

The professor gathered two other students and had us sit down in three chairs in the front of the room. "Now everyone here has an idea, right?" the professor said. Myself and the guy in the middle nodded. "Wait, I need an idea?" said the girl on the end. Um, HELLO honey, yes you do. It turns out this girl was "very excited to be working on an idea", all enthused and all of that, but had "nothing IN PARTICULAR in mind." Go sit down, my dear, apparently it WAS a trick question for her...

It turns out the professor wanted us each to pitch our idea to the class in a one-minute segment. Now, I know enough about business to know that this is called an elevator pitch. I also knew that I did not have one prepared. But, I figured I only have a minute so I only have enough time to pretty much blurt out the idea and why I think it's important. Can't possibly be that hard.

So I had to go first.

I was facing a class of 120 students, the vast majority of whom are business students and most of whom are in suits. I spent the day in the machine shop, so I tried to pick the aluminum chips out of my hair and wipe my hands on my jeans before I started. I took a deep breath and stood up.

I introduced myself, and used my most charming and confident personality while I explained one of my ideas to the class. I was short and sweet, although I stuttered once or twice. I was allowed to take one question, and then my turn was up and I sat down.

After the other two guys had given their pitches, the professor announced that he was holding a vote - which one of these students, he said, would you want to work for? Which idea do you think wins?

Ack! You gave an awkward engineer a single, lonely minute to impress 120 business suits with a highly technical startup idea, and now you'd like to submit her immediately to a popularity contest? Do you want to send me into THERAPY? But I suppose in the brutal world of business, this is how it goes - there are winners and losers and you have to deal with painful, honest evaluations of you and your work at every turn.

The professor wrote our three names on the board, turned around and said, "Okay now, the TA is going to help me count hands. Who likes Miss Outlier's idea and wants to work with her?"

This is the moment on American Idol when the last contestants are clutching hands, certain that in a few short moments someone is going to break into tears. Balancing on the wobbly line between success and failure, about to be shoved one way or the other by a merciless group of your peers.

And do you know, I peeked out from the hole I had just dug in the floor to avoid judgement, and I saw that something like 60-70% of the class had their hands raised.

"Umm, you got that?" said the professor to the TA. The TA just laughed, and the teacher put >50% on the board. The other two guys got 10% and 10%, respectively. (Yes, I see the discrepancy - I am aware. I repeat, it's a business class - the numbers don't have to add up...) It was an incredible ego boost to see that people liked me, and thought that I both presented myself and my idea well.

"And you are a PhD student?" the professor asked. Yessir. "In the engineering school?" he asked credulously. Yessir indeed.

"Wow," the prof said, "that's rare."

Yes, what can I say, I am an outlier.

Hands-On

It has occurred to me lately even more than usual that I am a hands-on person. As such, I tend to view my world in a very physical way. This affects three things that I have been noticing - how I learn, how I interact with people, and how I cope with stress.

Learning

For me to really learn something, I need to touch it. I loved my mom's "manipulators" in the early grades - polygon puzzles, counting blocks, marble runs and erector sets. I hated circuits class in college, because I couldn't touch the electrons, and I couldn't understand how the current and voltage and op-amps and all those silly things worked. I finally got through it with an analogy somebody taught me - my dad, probably - that circuits are just garden hoses, with the current being the water flowing through and the water pressure being the voltage. Resistors are kinks in the hoses, capacitors are tanks, and so on. Things I could touch made sense to me, electrons floating around did not.

When I need to learn facts for class, or equations for a test, I can read it in the notes but it doesn't stick. If I write it down, it's a physical process and I remember it better. The absolute best way for me to remember something is to write it on my hand, or arm, or somewhere on my skin. It takes about two days to wash off through showers and handwashing, which is perfect. For two days every time I look at my hand I remember the fact, and by the time it washes off I've got it down. I've been doing this to study for my qualifying exams, and I have gotten some funny looks, but hey - I know what works for me! And really, in the grand scheme of things here, it barely registers on the weird scale... :)

Interacting with People

I don't like emotions, I can't touch those. I don't like drama and politics, I can't quantify those. I prefer to deal with logic, which works in my favor in a technical field. But I come off as insensitive sometimes, and I have to remember to be sympathetic to those around me.

Being so hands-on also makes me very aware of touching - I notice every time somebody brushes by, bumps me in the hall, taps me on the shoulder. I'm very protective of who I touch, because it means a lot to me, so I keep my distance from people at large. I only hug family and a few friends, I don't really cuddle, or hold hands, and those sappy teenagers on the subway drive me nuts. But this also means when somebody encourages me with an arm around the shoulders, or when my mom rubs my neck, I can truly take comfort in that.

Coping

My favorite thing to do to wind down is to do mindless physical work. Folding laundry at night, washing dishes. In college I was on a concrete canoe team, and in the evenings I would go sand on that canoe. Sanding was perfect for stress - it tired me out, it was productive, and I got to let my mind wander while I worked. Here in grad school, I have no canoe to sand, but I can take a walk along the river now that it's summer. I also like to cook, but that's not quite mindless... at least not if I want to eat it :)

I realize this post doesn't mean much to the internet population at large, but I have just been reminded lately that this quality is part of who I am. I think part of growing up is growing to understand who you are, and perhaps I may eventually get there after all.

New Adventures of the Shooting Variety

In the spirit of my "wishes" post, I added a new class this semester.

Hello, archery! Of the recurve bow variety. I look exactly like this:



This activity has added an new and unexpected dimension to my day. As in, when I get up in the morning and I go to wash my hair, my arms talk to me. Quite clearly. They say, "um, no." and refuse to make it up to my head. And after I clear that little hurdle, my back chimes in. "Oh, that bookbag of yours on the floor? Yeah, it wants to stay there. It's too far of a distance to lift to your shoulder," says my helpful back. And now that I am irritated that the bookbag is in cahoots with my muscles, I realize that my coffee is also in on the game. It has relocated itself to the top shelf, which requires both arm and back muscles to stretch to reach.

At this point I cry foul, and leave for lab with wet hair, my bookbag carried at the level of my knees, and without my usual caffiene buzz. The whole kaboodle is modifying my normal routine a little bit, but really what's a few more voices talking to me amongst the usual complement in my head? :)

I was really excited to get into the class, because I was only on the waitlist. The teacher asked us the first day if we were right- or left-handed, and I (as usual) had to cause problems by saying I am both. This is true - I write left-handed, but play sports and do most other things right-handed. I wasn't sure which applied.

So I did the whole first class using a right-handed bow. When we were practicing how to draw, I suddenly realized quite clearly that I was not, in fact, right-handed. In hind sight this should have been obvious because (in spite of the fact I do most things right-handed) I do, you know, write with the left hand. That's kinda the definition of left-handed. Once again, my arms piped up to help me with this concept. "Wrong hand! wrong hand!" they yelled. I felt all discombobulated, I kept sighting out of the wrong eye, and my weaker arm was forced to be the draw arm.

So I had to cause problems yet again and ask for a left-handed bow in the next class. The result being, as I said, both halves of my body are equally unhappy.

But I am looking forward to improving. And, not only is this something I have always wanted to try, but it is also a new adventure in extra-curricular activities (see helpful comments on the state of friends in my life). In fact, my new partner Michael for the class is assigned to help me string my bow at the beginning of each session. I let him and his gorgeous smile help me more than I needed the first day of class...

But next class, I may not be pretending. I think my arms are planning a coup... I've kept this a secret from my back, but it has intelligence everywhere.

Outlier: Entrepreneurship

I had the opportunity to attend an entrepreneurship panel this week, and it was fascinating. They had three current MBA students on the panel, who had all started one or more successful businesses.

One started a hedge fund and managed a billion dollar portfolio by age 25, and then he got tired of that, sold it, and started a company in Brazil doing the same kind of thing these guys do, although that's not his company. They give out paper hangers for free to dry cleaning companies, paid for by advertising on the hangers. It's green, saves the dry cleaners money, and the advertisers know the item will be looked at in the person's closet for weeks.

The other guy started a resale consumer goods company in the UK selling through eBay and Amazon and his own website. Then he got tired of that, and started something else, I've forgotten what.

The last guy started his first company while he was in college, trying to make beer money. He and his friends bought domain names in English that translated to common things in India, then resold them. Domain squatting, I think that's called. It worked when he did it because the Internet and globalization was new, but he got out of that because, well, there are only so many domain names. So then he started flipping houses in Chicago, and morphed into real estate.

And all these guys are still in their 20s! It's quite humbling. I liked hearing their life stories, although I was a little disappointed none of the businesses they started were technical in nature. It's a bit different to start a technology/engineering type company than to start selling things on eBay. But in the end, hey, if it makes you money what does it matter.

My favorite part was the questions and the answers. A lot of the things they said, I already knew.
1) It takes incredible dedication and focus to start a company - it's a high risk, high reward proposition, not for the weak of heart or mind.
2) You have to be really cheap. Nickel and dime every expense to minimize absolutely every cost. The only thing which you should not skimp on is people - if you have partners, pay them what they are worth. Pay them more than what they think they are worth, even. It's worth it to have good people who won't walk out on you.
3) It's not the idea that matters. Ideas are easy, every person who thinks can come up with ten company ideas a day. It's picking the right one that matters, and the execution. Someone asked the panel how they protect their ideas, and if they worry about someone stealing it. One reply particularly struck me: don't worry, somebody already has your idea, and you probably stole it from someone else. There are very few things nobody has thought of. And if they can execute it better than you can, then they are the ones who should be doing it, not you. And if you can execute better, then you shouldn't be worried.
4 5) It takes a certain kind of person to be an entrepreneur. It runs in the blood, you might say. These kind of people have the ability to focus to the exclusion of all else, a drive to be creative and innovate. They can't stand the idea of an industry job. Some just love the process of starting the company, and will work in any field. Some are motivated by the idea and could care less about the process. But all of them are passionate.

This entrepreneurship thing runs in my blood, for better or worse. I kind of knew this in college, but it has really solidified in grad school. I am one of those people who thinks of company ideas by the handful. I can't think of a single person I'd rather work for than myself. I don't mind not having job security in the form of a company salary. I know my mind, my skills and my ideas are security enough - I know I'm good enough to make a living, if not a fortune under the right circumstances.

I say all this because I know it isn't the typical direction a grad student takes. Most engineering students I knew in undergrad took jobs in industry after completion of the bachelor's. A small percentage went to grad school, like I did. Of the few people I know personally who went to grad school, a master's is all they were going for. Either an MBA to help to get a job in engineering management, or rarely an M.S. to get a better salary in an industry job. Only one person I know from undergrad is going for a PhD - and he only decided that because his industry job went away with the economy.

So here I am, going for the PhD. Why? I know it's strange to complete a PhD and not be interested in academia. I stayed for a PhD because it is exciting to me to work on a problem that nobody has solved. In classes, you solve problems, but they are problems with known solutions. How much more valuable to find an interesting, relevant area of research and make a significant contribution. Also, having a PhD from here will give me superb credentials - I can essentially prove myself by just writing my name.

So, surprise, surprise, I'm an outlier in my career path. I want to start my own company. Someday soon, before I leave this school. My favorite part of being here at World's Best School is that I am surrounded by brilliant people in all different fields, the cliche melting pots of minds, ideas, and money. Standing at the front end of an intractable problem is a scary place to be for most, but I do it every day in research. Not so different than standing at the front end of a company that isn't reality yet.

For some outliers like me, it's not scary - it's inspiring.